Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens....

These are a few of my favorite things.... As I type this post, I am humming the words from the Sound of Music. On really rough days, this list comes in handy and thank goodness all items are accessible. The only difference between my list of favorite things and Oprah's is this.... There is no giveaway involved. LOL! I'll start with 10 favorites. Feel free to tell me how you feel about my list.

1. My pink and white polka dot Snoozies. It's like wrapping my feet in cloud and hanging out around the house.
2. A Grilled Peanut Butter and Strawberry Jam sandwich. Two words: Delicious and addictive. I saw Bobby Flay make one on his show and I had to try it. Of course, I am using my homemade Strawberry Jam.
3. Banana Pudding Milkshakes from Chick-fil-a. I hate that the shake is always for a limited time. At least, I have some to look forward to each Spring.
4. Coupons, need I say more?
5. My Oster 10 speed blender comes in handy when my sweet tooth is attempting to over power my will. I throw some fruit in the blender and make a quick fruit smoothie to end the battle.
6. My Kindle. No matter where I go, I always have entertainment or motivation right at my fingertips.
7. Wet Wipes. I have yet to find a stain that couldn't be tamed by a wipe!
8. Ivory Body Wash I have tried several body washes and most leave me too greasy, too dry or with too much residue. Oddly enough, I can't use the Ivory soap bar because it makes me itch.
9. C.O. Bigelow Moisturizing lip shine. I CAN'T concentrate with dry, ashy lips. This seems to be the only lip balm that doesn't just sit on the top of my lips like an oil slick. It actually moisturizes.
10. California Burger at Steak-n-Shake because its the closest thing to an In-n-Out Burger on this side of the Mississippi!

I've been to the mountaintop

Previously I mentioned that we were going to dive head first into everything that Georgia has to offer as far as state parks, museums, culture and history. Our latest installment of "All things GA" takes us to a hike at Panola Mountain located in Stockbridge, GA.

It has been on my list for a while but seemingly bothersome minute things like strollers, potty training, pregnancy and bed rest always got in the way of fun. Now that none of that above applies, the crew and I rose early (for a Saturday anyway) and headed for that giant beacon of granite. We walked the smaller self-guided hike that was just a little over a mile long instead of the 2.5 hour guided tour with a Ranger because our girls are still a little too young endure the terrain and the distance of a longer hike. My girls handled the 1+ mile hike like champs because that's part of our weekly workout anyway at a neighborhood park.



I love my hat because it is practical...



The weather was perfect. It was sunny with a few clouds and a gentle breeze, that was a relief when in the shade the tree's understory. The view from the summit was very pretty and I could have stayed longer to enjoy the view but I was starting to get hungry. Tonya + Hunger simply doesn't mix well and should be avoided at all cost. My girls most enjoyed watching the animals in their natural environment. Payton couldn't understand why the lizards kept running from her... that child is fearless and I like it!

After lunch we enjoyed another light trek around Alexander Lake. We watched the turtles sun bathe on a log in the center of the log. My husband was so excited that he scared the turtles back into the water to safety. Mike was convinced that he would capture a turtle and bring it home with us... Good thing for me that the turtles returned back to water in time. I am not interested in having a turtle. That's just one more thing to clean up after. No, thanks!

Next stop... Georgia's Little Grand Canyon!

My light green thumb

My girls and I are trying once again to produce veggies and fruit from seeds. My thumb is a little greened since the last time I tried to plant any fruits or veggies. My previous attempt in growing a small garden was not a success. I only yielded a small watermelon about the size of an apple!

We are hoping for some good results. We are growing, watermelons, yellow squash, carrots and pumpkins. Here is my little farmer Payton hard at work planting our seedlings:

Great photo op!

Filling each container with soil.

Water + sunshine= yum!

Now we wait...

UPDATE: Ten days later

Watermelon seedlings

Squash seedlings

Forty Days plus days later, we have a few squash plants growing on the vines. Everyone was excited!



One of the yellow squash
growing on the vine.



Ahh... Sweet Destin....

This past weekend we spent 4 days in beautiful Destin, FL, where the water of the color blue only found in jewels. Gorgeous!


We rented a beach villa on a golf resort with 2 other families called Sandestin Beach and Golf Resort. I started my trip with the objective of enjoying the weather, the view and being around friends. I achieved all my goals and even got a little shopping in at the Silver Sands Factory Stores (not without my coupons handy).

One the first evening there, we went to eat a family fun center called Fat Daddy's Pizza because everyone was in the mood for really good pizza outside of standard delivery! The bright neon signs, flashing lights and kids running around with arms full of tickets and tokens was not a great indicator of what I would consider to be a place that serve gourmet pizza as the ad noted!! I will be the first to admit that the pizza at this establishment was hands down in my top 3 favorite pizza places. After one bite, I was in love and seeing fireworks! I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. Added bonus, you get to feed live alligators as well out on the deck.

So over the next 4 days, we gave to kids a chance to splash in the pool and dig sand castles to their hearts content. What a great weekend!

I love to bake, so I did my best to satiate everyone's sweet tooth by crafting a Red Velvet cake and a Banana Pudding Cheesecake to handle the task. Both were a success.

Red Velvet Cake

Here are some pictures from the trip enjoy!

P.S. On our way down to Destin, FL, we had to drive through many small towns to reach our destination. There was one town in particular that tickled me deeply by the name of Brundidge, AL. What appealed to me most was the sweet, adorable downtown area with quaint flower boxes overflowing with petunias on the top of each trash receptacle down the main drag. That attention to delightful detail is what stuck out to me the most. Simple things like that bring a smile to my face the older I get.

Ciao!

Who knew a rooster could be so friendly...

Petting the miniature horse.

Last weekend, my daughters and and I enjoyed the Sheep to Shawl event at the Atlanta History Center. During a prior visit to the museum, one of the docents convinced me that it would be a great event for the family but I had no idea what to REALLY expect. I had no idea how hands-on the event would truly be. I really enjoyed myself! Makenzie took a few of the items that she made to school to show her classmates. The event is only once a year, so mark your calendars for next time.

She didn't want to just pet the rooster she wanted to hold it!

 

 

Since we are members, we had the opportunity to preview the petting zoo earlier than others, which was cool. As we walked through the petting zoo, in my mind I had already guessed which animals both of my girls would be excited about independently based on their personalities. For Payton, I knew she would enjoy the miniature pony and the rooster. Makenzie is a big fan of rabbits and cows, that is exactly where she spent most of her time. Mak would love a pet rabbit but our dog, Coco Chanel, is too territorial for another pet to come into our home. After all we have had Coco for almost 9 years and I can respect that.

The wool was very smelly!

After enjoying the petting zoo, we moved on the main event... the sheep shearing. The whole purpose of the exhibition is to learn how about all the steps involved from cultivating the wool from the sheep and the by-products of the wool on a plantation. So we gather around the barn to watch the shearing of the wool from the sheep. I have a new respect for my wool clothing items. The process is very labor intensive. The farmer sheared the sheep then he passed out the wool to the children in the audience. At this point, we took the wool to washing and carding station where we met women dressed in clothing from the 1890's. Remainder: the wool is fresh off the back of a live sheep. Translation: this stuff is smelly! There were several basins to wash, rinse and card the wool.

Payton carding the wool.

Carding the wool involves two large brushes that we used to soften the wool and remove any matting and twigs. Then from there the wool is spun using a spindle. We didn't actually do the spinning but the was a demonstation of how it is done. The final fibers can either be dyed to whatever color and then used by the lady of the house to create a shawl, towels or blankets.


 

One candle after 9 dunks in wax and water.

The girls also had an opportunity to enjoy making pottery and candles. Let me talk a little about the whole candle making process.... So considering that there wasn't electricity during this time, plantation families had to make their own candles using animal fat. The docent tells the crowd before we make our own candles that the family would make all the candles that they needed for the YEAR in ONE day! That figures roughly includes 400 candles so that is just about 1 candle or so per day. Here is the punchline, to create one candle, the wick has to dipped in the wax and water 400 times. Huh?! My girls only dunked their candles in the wax and then water a total of 9 times and they were worked up because the candles was as thin as PJ's pinky finger. Thank you Edison and I won't complain about the GA Power rate hike again.

What am I going to do with all these plastics eggs???

That's a good question! I am going to make some wreaths!!!!

For the first one I used the plastic eggs and the pink basket filler. I purchased a wire wreath frame and wrapped with a wide pink ribbon. Next, I glued the plastic eggs to the covered frame with my handy dandy glue gun. I didn't put the eggs on in any particular, so that I wouldn't obsess over it. I did use large eggs and miniature eggs just to give the wreath more texture. So just glued them on the frame and move on. To fill in some of the gaps between the eggs, I stuffed the plastic streamers into any crevice I could find on the wreath. Once every nook and cranny was with the stringy filler, I added a wooden decorative egg to the center of the wreath suspended from jewelry wire beaded with glass bead.

My second wreath has a grapevine frame. I purchased a bag of adorable pastel speckled eggs that look pretty realistic. I loosely wrapped sheer green ribbon around the wreath and secured it with glue. Next I attached the eggs to the bottom of the wreath and use floral moss to fill in any gaps between the eggs. I found that adding the floral moss makes the eggs look like they are resting in a nest. Once the foundation is set, I added a few silk daisies randomly around the eggs and the moss. I added a glittery rabbit ornament to the center of the wreath suspended from jewelry wire beaded with wooden painted beads and added a handmade bow on the top. 

Voila!

My good, my bad and my very ugly...

This post contains the good, the bad and the very ugly about a part of my journey. Continue reading at your own risk.

Some of my darkest, most private moments that I carry are the stillbirth and miscarriages that I suffered. I have wanted to tell my story for a while but not sure how to start it or if it is even worth sharing. I have alienated a lot of great people from my life because of my personal losses. I think it primarily stems from the fact that I, just like most people, don't enjoy my weaknesses being out for public display. I am just now able to pick up the pieces and try to rebuild stronger relationships that I had with certain people over 10 years ago. I am not sure if detailing my journey through my pregnancy issues will empower other families who are dealing with similar issues or if it will give me some sort of closure, victory or grace.

So here goes... About 8 years ago, I was pregnant with my first child, Makayla. She died shortly after birth, roughly 15 minutes. Those minutes felt so surreal. She was really premature, somewhere during my 7th month. The nurse told me to hold her until she passed because there was nothing that could be done to save her. That was extremely hard on me and the end of who I was at that time. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. It was like I was watching someone else's life. I was so alone and sad. I just kept saying repeatedly, "Why? Why me?" I cut myself off from God because I felt he overlooked me and let me suffer. So in the hospital recovery room while holding my lifeless baby, I left God and the relationship that I had with him right there. Presently, I know that no matter how much something hurts, God knows best.

My obstetrician at the time was completely stumped and ran a battery of tests to find out what was wrong with me. Was it my hormone levels? Did I have some sort of autoimmune disorder? The results came back that I was completely normal but emotionally my feelings were hurt. Fast forward one year, I am pregnant again. I cautiously attended each appointment afraid of what the doctor would find... I am told that everything is fine and that the first pregnancy may have been a sad and unfortunate event. I continue to live my life and work my job all the while hoping and praying that my outcome would be a positive one this time.

I go home to visit my parents in Las Vegas. I was sitting around talking with my parents and got up to use the restroom. I start bleeding profusely and something drops in the toilet. I couldn't look in the toilet but my mom did. I was so numb that I flushed the toilet, cleaned myself up and mentally moved on. I returned to Atlanta two weeks later and I threw myself back into my work and self-improvement all without God, so I thought.

Little did I know that I was still pregnant with another baby, the remaining twin. How was I supposed to know this? My doctor only saw one fetus during my initial ultrasound. After a few months, I go to the obstetrician for my annual check up on my birthday. I am in the lovely stirrups on the examine table and she tells me that I am still pregnant. We are both in shock, I explain everything that happened over the holidays and she sends me to the hospital for a more extensive ultrasound. I was on strict bed rest with this baby, Elijah, isolated from the world and my job. Don't get to excited here though because I lost that baby as well during my 6th month.

Finally after two failed pregnancies of three babies and another round of tests and labs, I was diagnosed with an incompetent cervix. Translation: my cervix can't hold the weight of a baby after the 5th month, so my cervix spontaneously opens leading to premature labor and sometimes pregnancy loss. I had no idea that a cervix could even be incompetent! The issue with this is that you have to lose a baby first before a solution or diagnosis can be provided. The remedy for me was a stitch around the neck of my cervix called a cerclage, which is an equally tricky procedure that could also lead to pregnancy loss. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place!!!

At this point, I am numb to life and people. I don't recall much of 2004-2007, selective amnesia, I guess. I actually don't have many pictures from that time. I realized this fact when I was working on a scrapbook recently. I had very, very few pictures from those years. So sad. Now I know you are probably wondering, when does the sun shine again, I am getting there bear with me. Every story has a great turning point.

I felt like my invitation to motherhood was somehow lost in the mail. I was so sad from grief that my analytical side took the steering wheel for this part of my journey. Also remember, God and I are still not on speaking terms or at least, I am not talking or listening to Him. I developed a hard shell that had many layers at this point, no one could get in.

I find out that I am pregnant, yet again, in the early Spring of 2006. I am not excited because I have been here before and I remember how the story ended. I tell no one but my husband for weeks. To be quite frank, I felt sorry for myself and the baby. The bright side is that I knew what needed to be done in order to increase this baby's survival rate. During my 13th week, I had the cerclage inserted. I received the green light to go home after a short weekend stay in the hospital for observation.

Needless to say, the remaining journey was not easy. I was on strict bedrest from the moment I had the cerclage done until I had it removed (week 13 until week 36), which was one month before my due date. Strict bedrest, for me, meant laying on my left side in my bed. My activity was extremely limited: I could only leave the house for appointments, I couldn't drive myself anywhere, couldn't go for a walk and couldn't take a shower longer than 7 minutes. I was taken to appointments by my, husband, my dad or my brother depending on who was available or in town. I would beg my brother to take me somewhere, anywhere even just for a few minutes just to people watch. My mom always called at just the right time to convince him otherwise! A mother's job is never done. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and I see God everywhere along my journey when I look back now.

I experienced premature contractions during my 6 month while at an appointment with my perinatologist, so I was sent immediately to the hospital for observation, which turned into an extended hospital visit. I stayed put in the Ante Partum Unit for 36 days, in the uncomfortable hospital bed on my left side plugged up to several monitors, gadgets and an IV in my hand. I wasn't allowed to get out of the bed  AT ALL. The things I do for love. My only connection to the outside world was one solitary tree outside of my single rectangular window. When I entered the hospital, the tree had lots of green leaves. I watched that tree change by the seasons. The leaves turned from green to golden. Finally the leaves fell from the tree and it was bare.

Broken and desperate while on bed rest in the hospital, I cut a deal with God down the hall from the same room where I left our relationship just 3 years earlier. I prayed that God would remember me as he remembered Hannah in the book of Samuel. The overall jest of my prayer was that I would be a good mom and not take my journey for granted. I see the entire experience as a blessing now eventhough it was devastatingly lonely and sad. I believe it was clandestine for me to be in the hospital in the very last room at the end of the hallway isolated, so that I could reconcile with God. He had me all to himself, not distractions. One week in, I was broken. I cried and begged for the life of my child because things weren't looking good for me as well as my child at this point, according my doctor. I kept my mouth shut and heart open for the next 3.5 weeks.

After one of my crying spells and feeling sorry for myself, my dad came to visit me at the hospital. Right on time as usual. He was loaded down with books, movies, magazine and snacks. I remember telling him that this whole thing should remain a family secret because I was too embarrassed. He suggested I do the opposite and tell my story to anyone that will listen because it would definitely help someone. It took me six year to catch on to his wisdom.

At about 28 weeks, my Ob and perinatologist both agreed that I could go home, because I was considered out of immediate danger and if I did go into labor at this point, the birth would be viable. I did have a few more small visits to the hospital ranging from a few hours to 2 days but overall the next several weeks flew by. I delivered my first living and thriving child, Makenzie Simone Skye, one month early but we made it! Quickly followed by birth of Payton Michele Joy exactly 21 months later because I am a glutton for punishment, I'm sure. That pregnancy was just as difficult but not as tedious because we (meaning my family and team of doctors) followed the blueprint laid out during my pregnancy with Makenzie. I am grateful and thankful.

Eight years later, I am still healing from the initial loss of Makayla and Elijah. I have keepsakes that I look over on their birthdays and light a candle in their honor on that day. I celebrate the births of all my children, privately and publicly. Everyday I get back a piece of me that I haven't seen in a while. I am slowly rebuilding relationship that were lost. I did the inverse of what I should have done during my time of distress. I should have taken refuge in their support but I hid and ignored them instead. I can't change what happened and what I did but I definitely do apologize.

Thank you for reading and I hope this helps someone. I have told the story to a few people but never with this much detail. This exercise has been beneficial. I have always wanted to put it into words but afraid of the emotions that would follow.