Wednesday, December 14, 2011

All good things...

I had planned to keep my blog light-hearted and jovial but unfortunately, it is that reflective part of the year when I pat myself on the back for the things that I did right and try to improve upon the things I did wrong. So here goes...

All good things must come to an end... I was part of an amazing organization that lead me to meet people that I probably would not have met formally eventhough we had several commonalities and our paths crossed several times in the last 14 years. There is one bad thing about good experiences, they don't last forever. More often than not, they end miserably. Especially when you try to hang on because you had some really great times and you genuinely like the people that you have intimately grown to know and care about. Sometimes you have to know when to say when and leave the relationship in a respectable place, so that all parties involved can at least be amicable. The more I type about this, the more it sounds like a marriage that has went wrong ending in a messy divorce.

There is a point of no return in any relationship where you have invested enough time and if something goes wrong, you will be hurt. I am going to have to walk away from something I truly enjoyed because my feelings are now tarnished or crystallized. Crystallization is a term I learned from reading T.D Jakes' book, Reposition Yourself. Crystallization is the point where deterioration has taken its toll. This is where I am right now. I have to make my exit soon but this means that I will have to leave a few people behind because I have issues with them and the friendship didn't get a chance to flourish before the trouble started. So sad but true.

Let me briefly elaborate on the remaining stages of progression in any relationship or situation from the Bishop Jakes' book. First, there is revelation. This is the stage of discovery for new possibilities or potential . Next is inspiration, the point when you decide to commit or take it to the next level. Formalization is the next step and involves the acceptance of your decision. Basically, you sign on the dotted line. The step that comes before the final stage of crystallization is institutionalization. Here is where the trouble begins and the "honeymoon" is over. I am sure you are probably checking off every friendship or relationship you may have ever had and where they fall within these stages of progression.

I can say that I am thankful for the really great times because I forged great budding friendships that I pray last a while because quite frankly heart can't take another break. So the lesson here is... when something is really good, dive in and bask in the warm and fuzzy goodness. Cherish the friendships that you make because you don't know what may happen next (good or bad). This lesson is totally different from my basic instinct, which is steer clear of all human contact and say, "Why bother? Because I know where this is going." I will close with a quote that continues to come to mind. " 'Tis better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all" from In Memoriam: 27 by Alfred Lord Tennyson.

Who knew?


  1. Wow.You are right about there being a point when you WILL be hurt in a relationship. I am glad you are learning from your experience and not choosing to follow your default instinct. I will say, though, that everything happens for a reason and that, with God, nothing is impossible.

    In my daily Bible reading, I read in Luke 18 somewhere, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." That being said, this deteriorated relationship may be tarnished and your heart may be crystallized--but that just may be FOR NOW. I guess it all just depends on God's will, right?!

  2. You are right,Anji! Time does heal all wounds but for now I must move to the sideline for my sanity's sake.